kateordie: comicsalliance: Archie Is Having a Baby with Valerie From ‘Josie and the Pussycats’ [Exclusive] By Chris Sims Over the past few years, Archie Comics has become one of the most socially progressive comic book publishers in the market, with genuinely solid storytelling that’s been pushing the boundaries of what they’ve done with their formula in the 70 years since the freckle-faced teenager made his debut. Today, they announced their latest move: In the upcoming Archie #633, they’ll tell the story of a future where Archie marries Valerie Smith (of Josie and the Pussycats fame) and they have a daughter. Read more. Archie Andrews must literally have the world’s largest dick. I do not understand how his life makes sense otherwise. I never have. First of all, outside of the ‘Life With Archie’ alternate reality, he is dating and sleeping with two girls who are best friends. Now, this would make sense in a loving, consensual, polyamorous relationship, but not for two girls in high school who want to rip each other’s tits off over a lanky ginger with a two-digit IQ. Now, I’ve know some pretty incestuous groups of friends, but his relationship with Betty and Veronica confounds me. They hang out, they screw the same dude, they hate each other, they’re both in love with him and constantly undermining each other in their pursuit of him, and he is completely oblivious to it. He’s either hung like Fassbender or dabbling in some serious dark magicks. If you ever needed solid evidence of Archie’s douchebaggary, we’ve got plenty of it.

kateordie:

comicsalliance:

Archie Is Having a Baby with Valerie From ‘Josie and the Pussycats’ [Exclusive]

By Chris Sims

Over the past few years, Archie Comics has become one of the most socially progressive comic book publishers in the market, with genuinely solid storytelling that’s been pushing the boundaries of what they’ve done with their formula in the 70 years since the freckle-faced teenager made his debut. Today, they announced their latest move: In the upcoming Archie #633, they’ll tell the story of a future where Archie marries Valerie Smith (of Josie and the Pussycats fame) and they have a daughter.


Archie Andrews must literally have the world’s largest dick. I do not understand how his life makes sense otherwise. I never have. First of all, outside of the ‘Life With Archie’ alternate reality, he is dating and sleeping with two girls who are best friends. Now, this would make sense in a loving, consensual, polyamorous relationship, but not for two girls in high school who want to rip each other’s tits off over a lanky ginger with a two-digit IQ. Now, I’ve know some pretty incestuous groups of friends, but his relationship with Betty and Veronica confounds me. They hang out, they screw the same dude, they hate each other, they’re both in love with him and constantly undermining each other in their pursuit of him, and he is completely oblivious to it. He’s either hung like Fassbender or dabbling in some serious dark magicks.

If you ever needed solid evidence of Archie’s douchebaggary, we’ve got plenty of it.